I had planned to title this series of blog posts (of which this is the first) The New Face of Evil: Ken Cuccinelli, but it felt overtly pejorative and left nothing to the imagination. It’s not entirely accurate either. After all, at age 45, his face can hardly be considered new. (I’m 47. I can throw that stone if I want to.)
(Pardon me while I take a moment to hit mute on my remote -- it’s another campaign ad for the governor’s race -- I boycott campaign ads. All of them.)
Mr. Cuccinelli (R) currently serves as Virginia’s top attorney, and before that he was a busy state senator, crafting all sorts of laws that make his narrowly defined ilk very happy and shits on pretty much everyone else. He wants to be Virginia's next governor, and I have a problem with that.
I'm not sure why though, it's just a gut feeling, which isn't good enough. I realize that this project mandates I do a good bit of research, and I’m fine with that. I was a microfiche aficionado in the day; digging through card catalogs felt more like a treasure hunt than a chore. Growing up, I deeply envied the crew of the Star Trek Enterprise with their sexy sounding computer that, on command, answered every question thrown at it. (Commander Data working with the computer was even hotter.)
We have that now. We call it Google. (Which, in my new elaborate conspiracy theory, I have determined is actually a storefront for the NSA, but I digress.) With voice technology, I can actually command my tablet or smart phone to google for me. If only prefacing every query with “Computer!” didn’t send the search algorithm down a wrong path. (My tablet apparently doesn’t understand my best Mr. Scott voice – it usually offers up items about pewter.)
Back to the race for governor. A couple of weeks ago, I began to see Tweets about “Cuccinelli’s Google problem.” They puzzled me, so I typed “Ken Cuccinelli” into my Google search bar, and I got this:
As a person who does PR, I have to agree -- this could be problematic. As a voter, I feel sure it is emblematic as well, of the candidate’s agenda. Notice how there's nothing about job creation or education, clean energy, protecting Virginia's vast natural resources, enabling all citizens to make a better life for themselves or their families? Nope. We’ve got sodomy, scandal, and abortion. Hmm.
In all fairness, the other two candidates do marginally better.
Terry McAuliffe (D) came up decidedly less salacious but no more progressive.
He reads like a typical career politician – in it for the ability to influence and generate personal wealth. He’s not the only person to take that path – follow a career that positions one to amass great personal wealth based on insider information and undue influence. Business savvy, they call it in some circles -- greed in others. Is he harmful? I don’t know yet. I haven’t googled him much…yet. But my instincts tell me not to trust him. Again, I don’t know why.
The third candidate, Libertarian Robert Sarvis fell somewhere in the middle, which seems appropriate, somehow.
And truthfully, I don’t trust him yet, either. He wants the job.
Back to “Cooch,” though. He was off my radar until he tried to reinstate Virginia’s ludicrous sodomy laws. It annoys me when “constitutionally limited government” tea partiers get all self-righteous about who should be screwing whom and what natural and man-made implements they should use to do it. You want to keep government small? Keep it out of my bedroom, you creepy little freak. My consensual sex life is nobody’s business, and I don’t give a crap who’s consensually fucking you, either. I’m a live and let live kind of girl.
My spidey senses tell me that Cooch is not a live and let live kind of guy. I think McAuliffe probably is, but I have nothing to support that other than a vague sense that Terry has reasons not to judge. My research is ongoing; I have much to learn. We are at a political crossroads in this country, and in this commonwealth: do we support progress for all or preserve the status quo, which benefits only a powerful few? Does Ken Creepinelli really give a damn whether or not my husband enjoys a bj in the privacy of our home? Should he? I think not.
I’ll click on the “scandal” link next and report back in a week. In the meantime, stay sharp, y’all. It’s a mean world.